Hide, or we all frown

With a heart somewhat heavy today I write these thoughts.

I shall run and hide for my face is not worthy. I let people down, I tell them I can, I do do my best, but it is still not what they expect. How does one satisfy an expectation that is unreachable? Literally something you cannot achieve without failing first. And in order to fail you must satisfy that expectation.

My brother is one of my biggest influences in my life outside of God. I respect him so very much that I take to heart anything he says (positive or negative). He is someone I look to for guidance, and someone I take criticism from. I do not always accept what he says, but I always think his views more than mine. He has shown me what it is to be and live as a man of God. We used to fight a lot, and now we are usually on the same page about most things. I talk to him everyday about almost everything. 

Today I have this feeling of letting him down, but without the ability to fix it. With a sunken in chest that happens when you hear bad news, or the headache you get when you want someone to see what you see and they just can't. Your day is instantly "ruined" and stuck thinking about a conversation.

--The day is grey and the mood is null. 

The ground is set for the battle. 

But why fight when your colors are the same. 

Strike down the thoughts of the blind

See the foolishness in front of you--

Beautiful you are

Yesterday was Valentine's Day as we all know. I did not have a Valentine, but I did not dwell on that either. I was actually inspired to write lyrics based upon whomever will be my future wife. And how no matter what I will love her and cherish her. Typically in my mind I hate lyrics that speak too clear, that point you without thinking. But in this case I felt that the word "beautiful" should be focused on more than ever in our world. Because beauty is true, and everyone sees beauty in their lives (whether or not they notice it is their doing). My love has not come yet, but I will anticipate how beautiful you will be to me. I live, love, hope for you.

"Beautiful you are
Like the wind like the stars
Beautiful you are

You are beautiful

From a day without you

Telling stories of past hurt

Lighting candles in the dark

I know you are my Perfect

Beautiful you are

Like the wind like the stars

With angels in your heart

Beautiful you are

Bruised battered you always glow

Help me, help me they always say

You never complain but smile

My soul will fly away with you, only you"

A thought on this time 2011...

Updating the world after a couple month absence.

Life continues to fly by, and as I attempt to remember things that even recently happened I can't help but only think of the future. This past year I have met and remet so many friends and people that still care about others more than themselves. Getting on the road and touring for 60 days this year was such a blessing, but it could not of been done without someone every single night providing places for us to stay, food for us to eat, and helping any other way they could. To say the least I am very Thankful.

One year ago I was just starting to work on songs for Foreverlin. To think then that the band would have done so much in such a short time: 60 shows in our first year, signed to a mid sized indie label, recording a full length with a producer, and developing friendships that cannot be broken with my bandmates.

I am in NO way saying we are there, we have made it, we are amazing, we are the best, chin straight up, too cool too cool.

In a sense I actually think we have just begun. To grow, to meet new people, to make music we love, to continue to talk to everyone at our shows, to hand free cds out to people who can't afford them, to play in houses, venues, youth groups, parks, castles, church services, and attempt to make this music a career as long as I can.

The future holds many things for anyone who is willing to chase what they believe in. I believe failure is truly not trying, giving up, and losing hope.

I shall write again soon, but until then I appreciate each and everyone in my life.
--Merry Christmas
Caleb

p.s. Best shoes I have ever put on my feet: Addidas Sambas

August Tour 1.0

Figured I would update people who are curious about life, tour, and foreverlin.

Our first 1/3rd of tour has been incredible. I cannot believe the awesome people we have met. We played a festival in Iowa. Then played a pizza place. Then we played a nursing home which brought back many good memories. (my family used to play music once a month at nursing homes in wisconsin). Played a show in Osceola. Played inside a Castle at a park. We played 2 shows in Chanute, Kansas, and then a show in Monett, MO.

At every stop we have been blessed with people taking care of us, whether it was with a meal (or two), gas money, a place to crash, or just making sure we had water to drink. We have met some awesome new friends at every stop! We used this new site called Ryfo.org and through that we found a great host home to stay at in the Kansas City area and met the awesome Peterson family.

In Chanute, KS we fell in love with the people and place at The FireEscape. The whole place is exactly what we want to have in Cheyenne. A great hangout spot for people of any age, a sweet venue for shows, a place for bands to stay for free (do laundry, showers, kitchen, cable, beds), and an atmosphere that is accepting to anyone and everyone. I cannot wait to go back and chill with all of our friends there! Monett treated us awesome as well, and Kyle did an awesome job of making us feel comfortable and appreciated.

It has been a tour where we have found great things to be appreciative of. And we have some awesome announcements soon hopefully! Two days ago we had NO places or shows this upcoming week, and now we have 2 (maybe 3) shows and a place to stay everyday this week! I wish we could show how much we truly are thankful to each and everyone!

If you haven't yet please check out our new music video we posted almost 2 weeks ago!

Why is the Venue Closing?

I have been asked a million times already as to Why the Bananza is closing down. Let me tell you why so that you all know, and can get some details/facts about it in the process.

I have been working towards opening the Bananza for 7 years prior, and it finally opened in 2011. We have run over 50 shows, and had over 5,000 people through our doors in 1 1/2 years. I would say that the venue was completely successful, and had tremendous support from music lovers. So you ask, Why then are you closing down? Well I know there are people out there who think we (I personally) make tons of money off of the venue, and just pocket this money.
Fact #1 - I have never taken any money out of the venue. Last year alone I put $15,000 of my own money into the venue to keep it open, support it, and help pay bands/bills.

Then the question that is asked is to WHY WOULD YOU PUT THAT MUCH INTO THIS? Well I love music, and I love supporting this. This is my passion. This city needs it desperately, and I enjoy giving as much as I can to make it possible. But sadly this venue is coming to an end after July 2012. Is this the end of my show running/venue endeavors?

Fact #2 - Not at all! The future is already in the works.

We are already planning the next venue and much much more. We are currently transferring our entire business to become a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization. What does this mean and why are we doing this?

It means that we hopefully can become much more sustainable as a business, and gain tons of community support. Through grants, donations, and volunteers. Our goal is to provide this:
-Shows (2-3 a month)
-After school music and art program (2-3 days a week)
-Community services (road/yard clean up, canned food/clothing drives, and much more)
-Suicide Prevention/Awareness
-Human Trafficking awareness

What is our timeline for this?
Our goal is to still do some shows at the old community house along the way. Do a couple benefit/fundraisers. And to get a new place and open in January 2013.

This should give you all a basic rundown of what is happening, and how soon to hopefully expect a new venue! If you have more questions please ask! I personally wanted to thank each and every one that has attended a show, helped at a show, played at a show, given us money, and supported us in anyway thus far. The future is bright, and in NO way are we giving up.

The end of the beginning.

This post is a little late, but I have been catching up on life since I returned from tour. The last couple shows were a lot of fun. It seems that at every single show on this tour no matter how the turnout was that we came away with something positive. We met so many great people.

I wanted to share these lyrics I wrote while on tour that talks about becoming a selfless man and rejecting the desires of this world.
----------------------------
Selfless
Amanda you know that life is all about me
and that everything I do is all for me
please understand, I am selfish

Did you see my cold heart
Because you should of known
I like to use you without remorse
This heart is not true

The more I am the more I am lost
The deeds that I do will never be enough
Format your heart to be like a flower
Shine from inside with love to desire

Run from my mind
Turn over the hand that gives more life
Become the man that is true and right
and only portray the selfless man

Let my grace be from a selfless place
----------------------------

Tour Update 3.0

It has been a couple days since I have updated the world from tour land. First off it is sometimes Very hard to find a place to stay that is not $50+ at a hotel. One hotel is the equivalent to a tank of gas, which means we try our best to find a friend's house to stay at. We came upon Madison, WI to find out that we did not have a place to stay. I parked in the cheapest hotel's parking lot and got out about to go in and get us a room.

I stopped and though to myself, "There has to be someone, somewhere in Madison that I know or a friend knows that can help us out".  We walked over to Arby's and attempted to find this glorious person! Time kept getting later, 8pm, 9pm, 10pm. Anthony's phone died so he finally went to the van to start charging it and as he did so he received a text from a young life leader that lives just outside of Madison. And that is how we found a place to stay that night thanks to our dear friend Vicki from Wyoming knowing this person.

Chicago was grand and we stayed with a friend of mine that moved there 6 years ago. It was rad to experience the driving fun with thousands of dollars worth of gear in our van. We ate some very unhealthy pizza at Giordanos and then had some awesome ice cream and Margies. Great times with great friends.

Yesterday (Thursday), we traveled 4 hours to play an afternoon show in Terre Haute, IN and then played that show at 3pm. Met some awesome people there, but then traveled 5 more hours to Davenport to sleep at my Aunt Twylas. People have been so kind to us on the road and opening their homes to some smelly guys to stay at. The last couple days I have thought about so many big things in my life and the decisions that need to happen with them. Perspective happens so often when you are driving and just in a zone by yourself for long periods of time. I shall write an update in another couple days. Til then my next post will be of a new song I am working on.

-caleb