With a heart somewhat heavy today I write these thoughts.
I shall run and hide for my face is not worthy. I let people down, I tell them I can, I do do my best, but it is still not what they expect. How does one satisfy an expectation that is unreachable? Literally something you cannot achieve without failing first. And in order to fail you must satisfy that expectation.
My brother is one of my biggest influences in my life outside of God. I respect him so very much that I take to heart anything he says (positive or negative). He is someone I look to for guidance, and someone I take criticism from. I do not always accept what he says, but I always think his views more than mine. He has shown me what it is to be and live as a man of God. We used to fight a lot, and now we are usually on the same page about most things. I talk to him everyday about almost everything.
Today I have this feeling of letting him down, but without the ability to fix it. With a sunken in chest that happens when you hear bad news, or the headache you get when you want someone to see what you see and they just can't. Your day is instantly "ruined" and stuck thinking about a conversation.
--The day is grey and the mood is null.
The ground is set for the battle.
But why fight when your colors are the same.
Strike down the thoughts of the blind
See the foolishness in front of you--
